The other night I decided to make a few layout changes to the blog and it led me to revisit some of the earlier posts. Then of course I went down a path of scrolling through the various posts looking at all of the pictures and little moments that have been captured. I don't know if this is something that all new mothers experience, I would imagine they do, but at least for me I truly am amazed how quickly the time has gone by. In someways it seems like yesterday that I was pregnant and in other ways it seems like forever ago. I guess you could say I woke up in the middle of an active moment with a level of awareness of where I am in my life and was witnessing myself as though I was watching a movie. Talk about an "aha" moment!
The first "aha", I'm awake in this moment, was holding Isaac and looking at him with all of his congestion, sniffles and runny nose and thinking, wow you're my son and you're the most beautiful gift ever. Now, it's easy to think, um Kyla, you were pregnant for 40 weeks and 2 days and you're just now realizing you have a son?? Add to that, the last 7 months of caring for him and watching him grow everyday. Yes, yes, I've known I've had a son but in that particular moment it was different. It was almost like a level of appreciation for having a dream, envisioning that dream in your head for so many years, wondering what it would be like if it came true and then the reality actually sunk in that you're living that dream.
The second "aha" in that one very cool moment, was holy cow I'm really a mommy! How did that happen?? No, I'm not going to explain how it happened, no need to spill every detail. It was just so incredible to have the awareness of where I've been in my life to where I am now and realizing this is exactly where I'm meant to be. How awesome and amazing!